Feels like Freedom

 "I am stupid."

That's not a belief you'd expect someone with a list of academic achievements as long as I have to believe about themselves. But I did. 

I'm a voracious reader, have been asking for homework since second grade (nerd alert), am a law school graduate and a member of the bar, and could fill at 3 pages of a resume with my academic accolades. Yet, I still believed I was stupid. 

How do I know? My newest healing certification (ThetaHealing®) is designed to excavate limiting beliefs from the subconscious, remove them, and replace those beliefs with how you want to feel instead. Often times, we aren't even aware of the exact subconscious beliefs we're holding, and that's exactly how "I am stupid" was for me. 

In the training, we practiced on each other, and when asked for something I wanted help with, I expressed the desire to not feel nervous when speaking in front of people. After doing some digging, we figured out I indeed believed I was stupid! I'm not exactly sure when and how that belief came to find its home in my subconscious, but I can recall a few childhood teachers who said things to me that made me feel less than smart. 

There are also some things that have happened to me when I had to speak and be on the spot that understand more now! Sweating through my clothes during job interviews and having a nervous system that got so overstimulated that I would almost pass out when I was called on in lectures all makes a lot more sense now, knowing deep down, I believed I was stupid! 

In college, I was a Public Relations major, and one of our required classes for the major was public speaking (gulp). While I was a straight-A student, I knew there was no way I'd get an A in that class, considering our final project was presenting a speech (topic of our choice) to the entire lecture group. I dreaded it the entire semester, and there were a few options I considered as the final project drew closer and closer: changing majors, obtaining a Xanax prescription, transferring schools were at the top of the list. About a week before the final presentation, I found a solution. We had the option of reading our presentation straight off the page and getting a lower grade. Even though I was a straight-A student, I would happily take a C to pass and not have to risk completely humiliating myself in front of my professor and 50+ of my peers. After all, if I tried to memorize the speech and share it without cues and being a ball of nerves, I would most definitely sound utterly stupid. 

All the nerves and intense anxiety I felt about speaking in front of people all added up, and more than a decade after my public speaking experience, I still didn't feel much more confident about it! For some unknown reason, I had volunteered to speak to a women's networking group I'm a part of in early spring. Well, I do know why I volunteered. The group gives all of us an opportunity to speak, and I truly wanted to seize that opportunity and share some things about myself and my work with the group. I just didn't know how I would muster up the courage to do it, and once again, I was so nervous about it for the few months leading up to the event. 

That's exactly why I asked for help in my ThetaHealing training: help feeling more reassured about that event, future events, and because I simply wanted to feel more confident when talking to others about what I do. So as I mentioned, we excavated that belief, and I asked to have the feeling replaced with the feeling of confidence. This was 2 weeks before the event. 

After the healing and in the weeks leading up to the event, I probably practiced my speech 10x or more. I had already practiced many times before the healing, and I could absolutely tell a difference. The words came to me more easily, and I was able to work in some anecdotes and speak from my heart, without reading my speech directly off the page. I also had some meetings during that time where I talked to people about my work. For the first time ever, I wasn't stumbling over my words when I explained what i do. Everything just flowed so naturally, and in a word, I felt confident. 

The big test would be the main event: speaking to my networking group. I was a little nervous leading up to that evening, which is to be expected. But once I got up there and started talking, I can truly say I felt absolutely no nerves. I felt confident, in flow, and my presentation went exactly how I hoped it would! I've never felt so proud of myself, and it doesn't hurt that my networking group is comprised of some amazingly supportive women who really pumped me up and made me feel so good and uplifted about the presentation. 

I have no doubt this massive shift in how I felt and what I believed about myself came from that healing... from removing the limiting belief. There is only one word to describe what it feels to live without those limiting beliefs: it feels like freedom. 

Maybe you believe you're stupid too (or maybe you don't even know!). Even if that's not a belief you're carrying, it's highly likely you've picked up some limiting beliefs at some point in life that you've been carrying around in your subconscious. These beliefs can feel heavy and burdensome. They can keep up from reaching our full potential. But you don't have to carry them forever. You too can know that feeling of freedom. And WOW -- is it amazing to leave those beliefs in the dust and taste what true freedom feels like!