You Are A Healer

Many years ago, before I became a healer professionally, I was a human on a healing journey. I've shared the story of my journey many times, but not the details of getting started on that journey. Before I go there, I'll rewind just a little further to a few weeks before it all started. 

A little over a month before I went in for my first healing session, I dislocated my shoulder in CrossFit. The real shock factor is that I went around for several weeks with my shoulder out of socket before I went to a chiropractor who popped it back into place. Of course I knew my shoulder and arm hurt, but I had no idea the extent of the injury. I was that disconnected from my body. 

Being so disconnected is probably what helped me be such a great athlete in the first place. I could ignore massive amounts of pain and suffering and just push through it to finish and win any workout. I was praised for it and took pride in it, but now there's something I value infinitely more: my mind and spirit being attuned to and connected with my body. 

Once I began the healing journey, that connection came quickly. It's actually pretty amazing as I reflect on it. Prior to these initial healing experiences, I not only had trouble sensing pain... I dealt with other issues as a result of being out of tune with my body. I found it extremely hard to relax and often had trouble falling asleep or sleeping well. In hindsight, this isn't a surprise, because being able to relax is dependent on our ability to regulate our nervous system (which is pretty tough to do when you're out of touch with your body). It was also difficult to recognize hunger cues. I often ate because I was either (1) "supposed to" -- it was either "time" or I had food left on the diet plan I was following and "needed" to get it in or (2) I was using food to soothe my feelings. I was rarely eating because I was physically hungry, because in all honesty, it took extreme cues like a growling stomach to even realize I was hungry! 

After just a few healing sessions, I all of a sudden felt so connected with my body! I was able to sense the most subtle of sensations in my body. I had much more physical awareness (being in pain,  being hungry, understanding how to calm my nervous system), but I also became so much more aware of my whole inner world and my feelings. 

It's hard to explain, but I suddenly felt so much more alive, as if I'd lived the entirety of my life on autopilot, but was now vibrantly alive and wide awake in the present moment. If you think about it, it makes a lot of sense. Using our senses, feeling our feet on the floor, taking in our surroundings, noticing the details of the world around us and the people we're interacting with are vital to living in the present moment. If you're not well connected to the body, if that mind-body connection isn't strong, then it can be hard to use those senses and stay present. 

I'm currently listening to Oprah and Dr. Bruce D. Perry's audiobook, What Happened to You? In the book, Dr. Perry states that love, both given and felt, is dependent upon the ability to be present, attentive, attuned and responsive to another human being. I find this statement to be incredibly profound. 

Once I was able to become present, more aware and attuned to the world around me, it was almost if I had open up a portal to receive and give massive amounts of love. I truly believe that love and connection are two of the most powerful agents of healing in the universe. If we are able to make the mind-body-soul connection, opening ourselves up to more love, we can achieve healing so powerful and fast, it's almost as if we've collapsed time (at least, that was my experience and what I've now observed my own clients experience). 

So how did it happen for me? What changed so quickly and drastically that I could all of a sudden connect to my body and become so present and open to love? 

I believe we are born fully connected in mind, body and soul. Along the way, we become disconnected for a multitude of reasons -- we feel unsafe, unseen, we live in over-stimulating environments in an over-stimulated, dysregulated world. So we disconnect as a way to protect ourselves. 

To reconnect, I needed to be reminded and to believe I was safe again. My friend who helped me heal created that space for me. By simply being a loving presence, she helped me feel like I was seen, that I was understood, that I mattered, and that I was safe. She didn't do this with words, she simply held space for me by being present -- physically, mentally and soulfully there with me in difficult moments. By making eye contact, by placing a hand on my shoulder, by being quiet and listening, by simply being there... but REALLY being there and fully present... she created a space that allowed me to reconnect to myself and heal. 

About a month ago, I was a part of a conversation with women from my church discussing spirituality and healing. We had listened to a podcast on the topic, and on the podcast, the guest being interviewed had said something along the lines of us all having the ability to help each other heal. One of my friends spoke up and said how intimidating that felt, and that she had no idea how to help someone else heal. 

While I'm usually reluctant to speak up in big groups, I was nudged hard on this one. I spoke up to share with that room what I want to share with you now (and hinted at in the title of this blog): it's true! We all have the ability to heal. We are all healers. 

While some of us have chosen it as a profession, it's something we can all do for one another. It doesn't require a degree, a certification, or special training. It only requires being human. While there are many specialized forms of healing -- therapy, energy healing, retreats and ceremonies, just to name a few -- sometimes the thing that brings the most profound healing is as simple as what my friend did for me: be a loving, present human. 

If you can sit with someone in their pain, looking them in the eyes so they feel seen, holding their hand so they feel safe, being present with them so they know they're not alone, then you can help someone heal, and you are a healer. That is connection. That is love. We know that love can heal all things, and what I described above is exactly how you can be a loving, healing presence for someone who needs to be reminded that they are not alone and that it's safe to come back home to themselves.