The Conn3ction Coach

Having control over everything I put in my mouth made me feel safe. I wasn't under-eating by any means... quite the opposite! I loved to eat and was, thankfully, able to eat a lot at the time. I often started my day with a giant stack of French Toast or pancakes, and still had visible abs. As long as I prepared them and knew how to account for them, it was smooth sailing.  Eating foods I didn't prepare and wasn't exactly sure how to track gave me a sense of unease that was sometimes as strong as anxiety. My mind would start to wander off to the next morning and what number would be on the scale or what I would look like in the mirror... would I still be able to see all 6 abs?! Those wandering thoughts stole me away from the present moment as I obsessively stressed about what the near future would hold for the body I'd worked so hard to perfect. My chest would get tight, I would become irritable, and it was nearly impossible to enjoy the meal that was my source of obsess...

 I recently finished watching the second season of The Bear. If you haven't seen it yet, I highly recommend it... just be patient through the first few episodes, as it starts out a little slow. But WOW does it pick up!! What really drew me in was the character development and the actors' incredible ability to evoke such strong emotion from the viewers.  As the show developed, something similar happened to a few of the characters that really turned on the water works for me. To give a little background without any spoilers, the show starts as one brother, Carmey, is taking over a restaurant from his brother Mikey after Mikey passed away. This restaurant, "The Beef" is a dive, but a staple in Chicago. While a popular place, the brother who passed away had left the joint in all but financial ruin. In addition, the facility in shambles, and the staff - untrained and unmotivated. Carmey is a world class chef, and he comes in and shakes things up with his restaurant and hos...

Last year when we got married in Hawaii, we met an older lesbian couple who was staying at the same resort where we were. We got married by the water at the resort, and because we had such a lively, dancing crew, most of the resort had seen at least some of our wedding festivities. The day after the wedding, the couple asked us if we were the couple who was married the night before. We talked about the wedding, asked them about their story, what their secret to marital bliss was, and chatted for a bit.   A few weeks ago, we went back to Hawaii to celebrate our anniversary. Much to our surprise, the same couple was at the resort at the same time as us again! We said hello and reminded them of the year before. We asked them how often they went to Kauai, and they told us they come every year, staying for about a month (!!!). We asked them more about marriage this time. They told us the biggest key was communication (I knew it!). I’m guessing they’re in their 70s, and these ladies have...

 Many times when people find out what I do, they'll respond with "ohhh, so you're like a therapist?" Or they'll simply say, "That's cool. But I already have a therapist." To which I respond (sometimes out loud, and always in my head...), GIRL, ME TOO!  There have been several phases of my adult life when I have been in and out of therapy, which I've talked about openly. I sought the help of a therapist when I was stuck in an abusive relationship. I went to a grief counselor when my mom died. And now I'm back in therapy because I wanted to have someone who could help me process some of the big things happening in my life right now.  What I do as an intuitive coach and a healer is very different from therapy. In fact, I believe a lot of us need both, and I personally have trusted healer friends who help me when I need that kind of support. Even healers need healers ;) I consider it a compliment when someone compares me to a therapist, or when a...

Many years ago, before I became a healer professionally, I was a human on a healing journey. I've shared the story of my journey many times, but not the details of getting started on that journey. Before I go there, I'll rewind just a little further to a few weeks before it all started.  A little over a month before I went in for my first healing session, I dislocated my shoulder in CrossFit. The real shock factor is that I went around for several weeks with my shoulder out of socket before I went to a chiropractor who popped it back into place. Of course I knew my shoulder and arm hurt, but I had no idea the extent of the injury. I was that disconnected from my body.  Being so disconnected is probably what helped me be such a great athlete in the first place. I could ignore massive amounts of pain and suffering and just push through it to finish and win any workout. I was praised for it and took pride in it, but now there's something I value infinitely more: my mind and sp...

It’s no secret that I believe emotions and having a good relationship with them is important. I’ve shared parts of my own story, my experiences and struggles with emotions from time to time too, because I think it can help others relate and hopefully, it provides some hope that there’s a lot of room for growth (I’ve certainly come a long way).   But I would like to share my full story now, to help you see just how impactful our emotions can be and just how far we can come in developing a better relationship with them. I believe being open to feeling and processing our feelings is something that is vital for our own healing and also something that will help heal a fractured culture as a whole. But to be open to it, we have to know how to do it and where to start…   Almost exactly 6 years ago, in January of 2017, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. The news rocked me to the core, and I had no idea where to even begin to process the diagnosis. At that point in my lif...

  This month I wanted to share a book, a concept, a movement that has deeply impacted both my own healing journey and the focus of my work as a healer. I suspect Bethany Webster's Discovering the Inner Mother has the ability to transform the lives of every daughter on this planet. Here's why... Do any of the following feel familiar or resonate with you? Feeling less-than Feeling powerless Self-sabotage when you get close to a breakthrough Avoidance of difficult emotions Numbing out (through substances, shopping, social media, etc.) Fears of being destabilized by emotions if you allow yourself to feel them Comparing yourself to others Feeling competitive with and jealous of other women Double binds ("Be smart, but not too smart. Be sexy, but not too sexy") Overworking, burnout, exhaustion Repeating patterns that don't ever feel like they get resolved Repeating loops of negative self talk Large contrast between the outer life you portray and the reality of your inn...